HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT MY SKIN

If I see something sagging, dragging, and bagging, I’ll get it nipped, tucked, sucked or plucked. 

-Dolly Parton 

In her book, I Feel Bad About My Neck Nora Ephron humorously discusses her annoyance with her aging skin, her sagging neck, and quarrels that no matter how much effort she puts into maintaining her appearance, her skin inevitably reveals her true age. She finds the neck to be relentless. A visible reminder of aging, not as easily camouflaged like other parts of the body. 

I can relate to that, as I am utterly obsessed with inspecting the daily progress of my own skin.  My face, neck and décolleté have changed so much since my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. I have become an epi-archeologist, ever discovering new sunspots, dry patches or wrinkles on the daily. Some might deem this behavior obsessive, but for me, it’s an integral part of my ongoing curriculum at The School for Perpetual Maintenance. A fictional institution where I proudly serve as headmaster!

I analyze and inspect my skin, in front of a well lit 10x mirror, each and every morning. On this particular day, in the still of dawn, my skin feeling hydrated and soft from the diligent skincare I applied the night before, I think of Darius Rucker. Yes, the Darius Rucker from Hootie and the Blowfish. I’m recalling how impassioned he sounded as he sang the words to Time. “Why do you punish me, like a wave bashing on the shore…” , and although my skin is still tingling from the retinoids I applied 8 hours ago, and still plump and dewy from the peptides, serums and oils I thoughtfully massaged into my face and neck, I curse it for betraying me; although its inevitability is not lost on me. 

What the heck is Darius crying about anyway? His melanin-rich skin is aging beautifully and I’m fairly confident that he’s not as obsessed with his day and night skincare routine like I am. But who knows, perhaps he is. One thing I do know for sure is he wasn’t crying about his skin as he sang the words to Time. The qualm I have with my skin is the (inevitable) bashing waves of time, not Darius, but I just need someone to be mad at right now! 

The point is: Regardless of how mindful and meticulous I’ve been, and still am, about caring for and loving my skin, the evolution of its change is inevitable. In fact, the skin -the largest organ of the human body- is the only organ where the naked eye witnesses its progression of transformation, in real time. Think about that for a moment. Have you witnessed how your liver or kidneys have changed, evolved and aged over as you've aged? Of course not! But the skin cannot hide. We bear witness to its progression, whether we want to or not. 

So my advice to you today is: Take care of your skin from the inside out. Learn to embrace each phase in its evolving journey. Protect it from the sun. Hydrate it, nourish it, and love it even if you think it’s betraying you through metamorphosis. And know that its evolving change means that you’re alive. Don’t be like me and fall victim to unrestrained vanity, but rather, believe that the skin is doing everything it can to protect the life contained within it. The skin is, by definition, life. I wonder if Nora Ephron ever looked at it through that lens? But even so, I’m fairly certain she’d still hate her neck!

Now I know what she was complaining about, in her dry sense of humor and in her quick wit, when I read her book more than a decade ago. Oh dear Nora, after all these years, now I truly understand what you meant.